I’m working!

I wanted to call this “A 101 ways to pretend to be working”, but I realized (and quickly enough) how disproportionately ambitious the task was. It was like aiming to land on the moon after having invented the bicycle :D I know how silly it is to even have come up with the idea in the first place, but then I’ve already touched upon the astounding effects of boredom previously.

During my training, I found that when staring at a PC starts to lose its appeal (not that it had any), watching nameless people move back & forth suddenly becomes remarkably interesting. In fact, I watched these nameless-people-who-look-all-the-same-in-formals so much; I could identify them by their footsteps and even their hair. A bunch of people I’d take special interest in tracking were the people I was answerable to. They’d bring out the best of my ‘I’m-very-busy-doing-something’ acting abilities.

[Having said that, I solemnly hope there are no potential employers reading this. If they are – “Sir/Ma’am, I’m a very sincere, industrious individual, please do consult my superiors & associates in case of any reservations. And do not hassle yourself by reading any further 0:-) ”]

For example, jotting down or typing completely random stuff provided an excellent cover for my joblessness. I could glance at the screen from time to time (or all the time, if I was typing) and it looked like I was taking notes. I took to doodling and sketching absurd geometrical forms like I was a professional. It was akin to making an intense effort to sketch a beautiful woman and ending up with a stick figure instead. But in the unbelievably dreary environs of the place I could call an AC prison, anything & everything except work revealed entirely new, exciting dimensions.

I stared at the tube lights wondering if there was a glass cover beneath their holder and marvelled at how pretty they looked. If I wasn’t already finding the sight of the monitor revolting, simply staring at it blankly did the trick at times (that’s how most of the people looked when they were working). I scrolled up and down the PDFs, edited the Word documents, and dug up the entire hard disk in search of adventure.

I wouldn’t say that the exploration of the PC was entirely futile. I did discover an incredibly amateur game of Snooker, which would take a minimum of 15 seconds to start and shut down. Nevertheless, the programmer was considerate enough to have included this feature called “Boss” where the ESC key would minimise the game to a nameless tab in the event that your boss interrupted your game. Except that the game was to be played using the mouse.

I tortured the MS Office assistants to no end (Animate... Animate... Animate...), every single one of them, till I actually started feeling like a cold-blooded despot. It reminded me of “Naach, Basanti, Naach!” Except that these poor fellas didn’t have much of a choice and seemed quite willing to oblige. I must admit I really miss them on my Vista system; they were, after all, the only companions I had in the solitude of my deserted semi-cubicle.

Back!! ...without the Vengeance!!

No, I’m not jumping on to any bandwagon this time; I’m just stepping out of my slumber as usual... I started blogging couple of years back and while I ‘did’ continue to write all this while, I just did not put in the effort to post all the stuff online. And although I managed to “pour my heart” into a lot of pieces of paper, a lot of the pieces of my liquefied heart have been misplaced. I just have one piece remaining, the one about my training. So I’ll just start with that one and churn out more with time...
And yes, I am not promising any interesting reads here. It’s just convenient to announce the link so I don’t have to keep repeating it to people (now I wonder why I chose such an ornate name for my blog :-? ). Do drop in comments. That would be really nice. And if you don’t, maybe I’ll start badgering you and “that” may not be so nice :D