“I wish that life was like it is in the movies,
´cause the hero always gets his way,
No matter how hard it gets on that dark lonely road,
At the end he´s got a smile on his face...”
I can be pretty tactless...unreasonably candid, at times to the point of being rude. Yeah, I know it’s not a good thing. I’m old enough to “know” when to keep my mouth shut; but then I’m often tempted to do the exact opposite. More often than not, simply because it makes things easier. It makes the other person see things exactly the way you want him to; you don’t have to keep spinning a pack of lies; and it takes just a fraction of the effort it would’ve taken to put things otherwise.
I see it as normal to get annoyed & angry once in a while, to hate somebody for some time (I don’t hold grudges for life. I’m not a baby, or a dork!). I’m not a saint. I can’t lovingly embrace the entire human race & I have my own pet peeves. Unfortunately I, all too often, get caught in a position where I just can’t explain to the other person the “why” of my displeasure without coming across as a complete bitch. Over the years I’ve almost stopped caring about what people think. But then I am a social being and for all I say or all I do, I won’t pretend it doesn’t matter at all. At least it matters to the extent that people think I’m as evil as I actually am, and not any more so. Especially when I’m willing to accept and admit that I am evil.
And then I come across people who are unrealistically good. Their string of sacrifices and their heart-rending thoughtfulness betrays no limits; their frustratingly illogical ideas of right & wrong never cease to amaze; and somewhere it starts bordering on & eventually translating into pretence. Sometimes, it is downright pretence right from the start. For sake of political correctness (if there’s any left) I won’t go into the details of the pretence. But it is astounding to watch the perennial saint turn sinner; it is exasperating, if anything, to hear their irrational explanations for playing the perennial saint; and it is tragic when you don’t figure in the fan club. Needless to say their fan club spans 90% of the face of the earth. Thank you, remaining 10%!!
My harebrained idea of diplomacy is withholding information. Sadly that’s as far as I can go. And so, I’m often left wondering how sick people think I am :-? And I wonder why others can’t see through the absurdity of the entire situation... and finally I wonder, is it me or is it them...
