And it makes me wonder...

I still shy away from calling myself a woman; partly because it’s an embarrassment to womanhood and partly because I’m still struggling to come to terms with the phenomenon that is womanhood.

I’ve known so many girls - girls I loved, some that I hated and a few I never noticed. And as I fish out a handful of memories from the past, I find them giggling with abandon, running wildly against the wind, screaming at the top of their voices and desperately pretending to be important.

And yet somehow mysteriously, subtly and yet suddenly, the giggling has transformed into an assuring smile, the run has given way to a gait, the screams have turned into silent discontentment and the pretensions have become overwhelming real. The deeper you scratch the surface, the more you realize they’re all pretty much the same – unconstrained, naive, compassionate, protective and petrified.

And the girls you loved, hated or never noticed have become women you always looked up to.

Stumbled

I stumble, tumble and lose my way;

I don’t find my way back - just another way out.

I run behind, besides and ahead of people;

I rarely win, but always complete the race, at my own pace.

I learn, mislearn and unlearn things;

I don’t know it all, but just enough to get by.

I get loved, hated and ignored;

I play the wrong notes, but learn to touch the right chord.

I obey, disregard, disobey;

I make my own decisions, I make my own mistakes.

I’m happy, hungry and complacent;

Am I arrogant or simply ignorant?

Reprendre le Travail

I post this to blow away all the dust my blog’s gathered in the past few months which now seem like a hazy eternity (aren’t eternities supposed to be hazy anyway :-/).

I had sincerely hoped the previous post wouldn’t be the first post that the few new visitors read on my blog, especially considering how irrelevant and meaningless it must’ve seemed to them. But my barbaric schedule walked all over my hopes and my indolence made sure they didn’t raise their voice any time soon. Now that my barbaric schedule’s on a vacation, I hope I breathe back some life into my blog...