Nothing

This empty moment also flits away as I’m still trying to fill it with desultory busyness. I watch the moments accumulate to form periods of ‘nothing’. My nebulous thoughts and erratic emotions collide with and morph into each other, and we soon find ourselves on a slippery slope of meaningless mulling – meaningless because I’m mulling over the empty moments that are passing by. I realize that over the years I have gathered growing piles of ‘nothing’ – of guilt & inertia, which keep fading into the bottomless pits of time. 

This is my addiction - my addiction to Nothing.

My addiction to an involuntary urge of pondering over everything and accomplishing nothing; to the discomfort of hunger past meal times and the accompanying nonchalance; to the perfect vision of a productive evening and the emerging void.

I fight it day in and day out - accept it and deny it, suppress it and feed it, resist it and give in to it.

It's always Nothing.