Write or Not

“Why don’t you write any more?”

“I guess I’m just lazy”

“But you write well…”

Is that why I should write?

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“Why don’t you put all your articles online?”

“I don’t like discussing what I write about.”

“You don’t have to justify what you write.”

“That’s why I don’t put them online.”

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Why should I write?

I have been writing since I was seven. Or at least I have been composing prose in my head with the intent of putting it on paper at some point. Sometimes I managed to turn it into a word document and post it online. At times I just put it on a paper and threw it away. Most of the times I just left those words swirling in my head.

I’ve heard women never stop thinking. I think about the same things over and over again, from different angles and perspectives; build a train of thoughts, one linked to the other until I am thinking about something completely unrelated. And after a while I’m back to where I started. The questions remain unanswered and the dilemmas unresolved. But the words keep swirling in my head.

I think that is why I write - to stop those words from churning in my head.

That is why I should write.

Remind me...

I wonder why it is so easy to lose yourself in the doldrums of everyday life when you've spent so many years trying to put a label on who you are.

Somehow, we never take advice we definitely should; we stick our heads out to defend ourselves exactly when we shouldn't; and always forget the person we can be, right when we need to be that person the most.

I guess that's why it's good to be home. Because it all comes back to you as you shift your gaze from the uber-cool collage of yore to the fridge magnets you gifted your parents, to the picture frame your best friend gave you.

And you know... Who you are, who you can be and who you want to be...

The Living Playhouse

We attach a certain hipness to some things we love, develop an inexplicable fondness for most and harbour a silly longing for their permanence in our life. And in a moment, it all turns to hurt when you try to move away from any of them.

It is warm, strange and sad, all at the same time, that a song fills you with an aching memory, a crowded room fills you with an empty hollowness and the sights & sounds of the past slowly attach themselves to every piece of your changing life. Your world turns into a living playhouse of forgotten images, fading emotions and distant sounds.

And as much as you want to walk out of it at that moment, you just can’t...